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All About Coming Out

"What's an appropriate way to congratulate a friend for coming out?"

I’d like to send my friend a card congratulating her for coming out as a lesbian and I noticed there’s a set of Hallmark cards just for this purpose. Is it appropriate to use ready-made coming out cards?

Absolutely. Greeting cards are a great way to deliver a personal message, whether or not you also choose to say something face-to-face. The Hallmark cards you’re referring to are, I hope, the first of many to address LGBT issues. Currently, there are four cards to choose from; of course, any preprinted card will do just fine. Just be sure to add in your own message of congratulations.

Even if the printed message is just what you want to say, a handwritten note from you turns it into something more personal. A few words of your own, such as “Congratulations on coming out” or “I just wanted to let you know I’m behind you” will go a long way to show you’re supportive.

Many years ago, after I told a neighbor I was gay, he sent me a handwritten note saying how proud he was of me. You can be sure I kept it — it meant so much to me then, and it still does now.

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Gay MannersConfused about coming out, dating, sex, and love? Find all the answers here - makes a great reference guide for you, and a great gift for the straight people in your life who need a little guidance.

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Ask Steven Petrow about Gay Manners