"Our son has a friend whose parents are gay."

My husband and I are Orthodox Jews and to us homosexuality is unnatural. Now, our twelve-year-old son has been invited by his friend to a sleepover, but we don’t think that he should go because the parents are lesbians. What do we tell our son? And what do we do about the invitation?

It must be difficult to tell your son no to an invitation as innocuous as this one. I’d recommend that you think it through a little more. Allowing him to become friends with this other fellow doesn’t mean you need to compromise your beliefs or even condone the mothers’ relationship. If anything, I’d hope your son will be exposed to all kinds of people and ideas as he grows up—not just those he encountered at home.

If you still decide this isn’t right for you, I think you owe your son an explanation. Talk to your son about your religious beliefs, although I hope that you will allow that not all Jews or members of other faiths feel as you do about homosexuality. As for the invitation, contact the moms promptly, thank them for the invitation, and let them know your son won’t be able to make it. No further explanation is necessary. In fact, I’d avoid one.