"How do I refer to the two dads down the street?"
I’m confused: How do I refer to the two dads down the street when I meet them and when I talk about them?
Well, when you speak to them, why don’t you just call them by their names? If you haven’t been introduced yet, go ahead and do so. As for how you refer to them in absentia, I imagine you’re a bit tongue-tied because of the novelty of the situation to you. The etiquette here is actually quite simple. Try this: “I was at the PTA meeting last night, and I was talking to Sam’s parents [or Sam’s two dads], Mike and Jason.” You certainly don’t need to get into which of them might be the legal parent, even if you are privy to that knowledge. It’s not relevant. Your straight friends might still raise an eyebrow of surprise at the notion of two dads, but they’ll catch on quickly. Last point: Please don’t talk too much about them behind their backs.
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