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All About Coming Out

"We're not sisters, we're lesbians!

When I travel with my girlfriend, people always assume we’re sisters. Classic, huh? The problem is that it sounds so confrontational if you answer, “No, we’re lesbians.” Is there another way?

Coming out is a process that continues even when you think you’re already out. This is especially true when you’re traveling and meeting new people, and even more so when small talk inevitably leads back to the fact that you’re gay. For instance, when my seatmate on a plane asks me what I do for a living, I’ll reply that I am an author. Invariably, the person then asks, “What do you write about?” If I’m going to be honest, I’m going to say “Gay and lesbian issues” and out myself. Sometimes that’s followed by silence, which can make for a long trip sitting next to someone who’s been discomfited by my simple statement of fact.

However, there’s nothing confrontational about saying who you are or what you do, especially when asked. If you were to use more charged language, like “We’re dykes,” that could sound in-your-face to some. Also consider options like “We’re girlfriends” and “She’s my partner.” Or, “We’re married.”

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Gay MannersConfused about coming out, dating, sex, and love? Find all the answers here - makes a great reference guide for you, and a great gift for the straight people in your life who need a little guidance.

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