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All About Dating & Sex

“Is it okay to ask a lesbian friend, ‘Who's the man in bed?’”

Is it okay to ask a lesbian friend, ‘Who's the man in bed?’

The idea of lesbian and gay sex is fascinating to some straights, as is the notion that there are only two starring roles in the bedroom: catcher and pitcher, or top and bottom.

Actually, “the gays” are quite a varied group in terms of income, intellect, politics, design sense—and sexual tastes. So, before you ask your question, know that your friend’s answer may disappoint, especially because these days there’s more and more fluidity of sex roles among LGBT people.

Nevertheless, if you and your friend are in the habit of talking about your mutual sexual likes and dislikes, boyfriends and girlfriends, go ahead and ask away. Don’t be surprised if you’re asked in turn: “Who’s the man in your bed?”

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